Vader really is the galaxy’s greatest detective because he kills anyone who doesn’t give him the answers he wants. Just watching him walk up to you, pipe in face mask, fire in his eyes, intimidates you into giving away who the murderer on Cherry St. is. Also, his Force sensitivity is greater than anyone else’s. He can just sense if the killer is hiding in the cupboard under the staircase. He doesn’t even have to look. He’ll hold his lightsaber up to the door and activate it, making it thrust through the guy. This is the kind of shirt you wanna wear around your torso if you’re in the middle of writing a genre-bending fan fiction.

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